


Start the scene in reverse

by standoutme



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Carrie and Alex bond over pop music and dancing, Carrie's mom is Alex's little sister, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Nobody knows though (except for Bobby and Carrie's mom of course)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26955835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/standoutme/pseuds/standoutme
Summary: Strolling Julie's high school some days after the Orpheum gig, Alex crashes right into Carrie Wilson, and makes a shocking discovery. Julie isn't the only one who can see him, or touch him for that matter. But he has yet to figure out why.ORAlex and Carrie become fast friends, as they learn that she can see him. PLOT TWIST: Alex is Carrie's uncle and they have no idea.
Relationships: Alex & Carrie Wilson, Alex & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina/Carrie Wilson, Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Past Alex/Luke Patterson
Comments: 129
Kudos: 413





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so since we don't know who Carrie's mom is, and we see this obvious connection between Alex and Carrie, I just really wanted to explore the idea of Carrie's mom being Alex's little sister. This first chapter is just going to be some background about Carrie's mom, and then it's going to be set after the Orpheum gig at the end of season 1. Hope you like it!

Elizabeth Mercer was thirteen years old when her parents kicked her older brother out. They never spoke of him again, as if he’d never existed. When she asked them about him, they would brush it off with terrible excuses, or worse – a scolding. Because apparently, after two weeks’ time, she should know better than to speak his name in their house. Irrelevant to the discussion, though, was the fact that she knew why her brother wasn’t welcome there anymore. Despite the fact that Alex had never actually _come out_ to her (his thirteen-year-old little sister who he assumed was completely ignorant and naïve), she had known for years. She had known ever since she saw him kiss the neighbour’s son behind the bushes in fifth grade. Reading the secret diary he kept hidden in his pillowcase had only confirmed her suspicions. And most recently, she had seen Luke climb in the window several times that summer, pretending like she had seen nothing despite locking eyes with the lead singer a couple of times through the window.

Lizzie was fourteen years old when she lost her older brother the second time, when she lost him _for real_. Alex passed away suddenly, along with two of his best friends, before the gig of their lives. And Lizzie was left with an endless amount of regrets. She hadn’t seen him much that last year. Between her controlling parents, school and countless extracurriculars, she only ever managed to see him on a few rare weekends. Naturally, she blamed herself. For not running away with him, for not seeing him more often, for not telling him that she _knew_ and that she loved him no matter what. But that was the thing about regret – it was always too late to do anything about it.

She was seventeen years old when she finally ran away, left her parents for good and never looked back. She could never forgive them for pushing Alex away, making sure he spent his last year feeling unaccepted and unloved. She hated them for it, and when she reached the age of seventeen, realising that from thereon out she was only going to grow _older_ than her big brother – she couldn’t spend another minute around the people who had pushed him away. Who not only made sure their son was alone, but also their daughter. Elizabeth took any and all jobs she could get in the beginning, saving up money so that she could eventually go to beauty school.

She was twenty years old when she became Elizabeth Wilson. Perhaps it was the fact that she had been crushing on Bobby since she was a kid, or perhaps it was the fact that he made her feel closer to her brother. Maybe it was the fact that he was Trevor Wilson now, a rock star on the rising, or maybe she was simply _lonely_. The reason didn’t matter. When she had run into her brother’s old friend at the Orpheum that May evening in ’01, she had been struck with a sense of familiarity she didn’t want to let go of. And so, six months later, they got married ~~at a shabby Vegas chapel~~.

Elizabeth was twenty-three years old when she got her very own miracle; Carrie Alexandra Wilson. While being married to a rock star wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, being a mom undoubtedly was. There was a whole new purpose to her life, and it was to make sure that this little girl was loved, accepted and safe – no matter what. Having a child of her own didn’t soften her feelings towards her own parents. No, it was rather the opposite; she couldn’t possibly understand how they had been so full of hate.

Liz was twenty-six years old when she got divorced. The past few years had been difficult to say the least, and she had stayed with Trevor for as long as she could – for Carrie’s sake. There was a limit though. There was a limit to how many paparazzi shots with groupies, how many missed holidays, and how many arguments she could take. So, she filed for a divorce, and despite all her efforts for full custody, ended up with shared (telling herself it could’ve been worse). She bought a house nearby with the money from the divorce, and decided that no matter what, Carrie would have _at least_ one loving, accepting parent around.


	2. One

High school was easy and uncomplicated; something Alex desperately needed in his life (death?). Things were constantly changing; big things, without any explanations whatsoever, and it was really stressing Alex out. Ever since Julie hugged them in the garage after the Orpheum gig, they could touch her; and they were no longer in mortal (immortal?) peril. It was definitely a good thing, having their stamps lifted and not crossing over, but Alex needed a better explanation than ‘the power of friendship and hugs’ as to why he was no longer immaterial to some lifers (read: Julie) but remained invisible and immaterial to others.

Then there was Willie. Alex was painfully and irrevocably in love with the skateboarder, and things were _complicated_. Alex hated complicated, and yet, everything had always seemed to be complicated for him. They were just friends, Alex told himself. Despite all the lingering eye contact, _hugging_ , and endless emotional support, they were just friends. And Alex wasn’t the kind of person who was in any rush to tell his _friend_ that he had a big, fat gay crush on him. Even worse than that, there was Caleb. Caleb, the psychopath ghost, who happened to own Willie’s soul - and who wasn’t exactly happy with Alex and his band at the moment. Thus, meaning that even if Alex _did_ want to proclaim his crush, there wasn’t exactly any good opportunities for it because he barely ever saw Willie anymore. 

So, to distract himself from the various _complicated_ aspects of his afterlife, Alex went to high school. As long as he didn’t bother Julie, she didn’t mind him walking the corridors, listening in on music or joining dance class. What he hadn’t accounted for, was the possibility that going to Julie’s high school would actually complicate things further. What he hadn’t expected, was crashing into someone, hard, schoolbooks falling to the floor loudly.

“Excuse _you_ ,” Carrie Wilson exclaimed, eyebrows raised and lips pursed; brown eyes looking right at him. Alex just stood there for a moment, completely still, staring right back at her in hope that she would just keep walking. She didn’t.

“You can see me?” he asked in disbelief, furrowing his brows before turning his gaze away from her with wide eyes. She could see him. Also, she had walked straight _into_ him. She could touch him, like Julie. And he had _no_ logical explanation for it. God, things were just getting more complicated by the minute and he couldn’t’ – he didn’t – it was all –

“Wait, why do I recognize you?” Carrie asked suspiciously, bringing him out of his chaotic thoughts.

“Oh, uhm… I’m in Julie’s band…?”

“Right, the drummer. I thought you guys were holograms.”

“Not… exactly-“ 

At that point, a group of freshmen walked by, giggling loudly and pointing out that Carrie Wilson was talking to herself.

“Sorry about that,” Alex mumbled, waiting for the giggling girls to leave the corridor before bending down to pick up Carrie’s books for her. 

“I um… really like your music, by the way,” he offered with a shy smile as he handed her books over, before poofing back to the garage in a hurry, leaving Carrie Wilson absolutely flabbergasted. 

\--- 

“Alex, where have you been?” Luke asked, getting up from the sofa as his friend popped up in the garage. Reggie looked up from his spot on the loft, a groggy smile on his face.

“The school, I- Carrie… I don’t-“ Alex started pacing, unable to form words for what had just happened, breath speeding up as he tried working out his thoughts.

“Woah, take a breath, Alex. What… what about Carrie?” Luke asked, placing two hands on Alex’s shoulders and guiding him to sit down on the sofa.

“She… she could see me,” the drummer managed, eyes wide as he stared out into the air of the studio, still not fully able to grasp it himself. “And… she walked right into me. Like… like she was Julie.”

“Dude!” Reggie exclaimed, immediately making his way down from the loft. “Does this mean… we’re becoming visible to more people? Maybe Ray could see me? That would be so cool-“

“Reg, not the time,” Luke interrupted seriously, earning a serious nod from Reggie who sat down next to Alex in the couch.

“This might be a good thing,” Luke suggested.

“How?! How can this be a good thing?” Alex questioned, about to get up and pace again, but was pulled back down on the couch by Reggie.

“Well, if we’re becoming visible to more people, then… maybe we can have more normal lives? Afterlives.. I don’t know,” Reggie mumbled, and it was clear that the boy had hoped for this ever since they became ghosts – especially with Julie’s family.

“Maybe it was just a weird one-time thing,” Luke tried, although he didn’t sound half as optimistic as he wanted to. 

“Maybe,” murmured Alex in response, crossing his arms over his chest, deep in thought.

\--- 

The garage doors opened a few hours later, but much to the boys’ surprise it was a blonde figure making its way into the room, rather than Julie’s familiar curly head of hair. Luke’s head popped up from the couch, eyes wide in surprise at the intruder. Reggie and Alex were plopped down in front of the laptop Julie had left in the garage, both heads shooting up as Carrie entered.

“God, you are so predictable,” the girl complained, rolling her eyes at Alex and crossing her arms over her chest. “Literally the _first_ place I look,” she muttered to herself, walking over to fold the laptop on the floor, earning an offended “HEY!” from Reggie.

“Carrie… what- What are you doing here?” Alex managed, stumbling over the words.

“Yeah, did Julie invite you? Because I’m pretty sure you’re _not_ welcome,” Luke said, standing up from his spot in the sofa, not earning a reaction from the girl.

“Julie and the _Phantoms_ , so unimaginative, who came up with that?” the girl asked, still looking straight at Alex, before taking a few steps around, inspecting the studio.

“HEY, it’s a great name!” defended Luke, still not getting a reaction from the lifer. “It was Flynn,” Alex mumbled in response.

“Of course it was,” Carrie rolled her eyes again, dragging a finger across the strings of Luke’s guitar as she walked past it, earning another huff from the lead singer, who was already half way across the room to protect his guitar. “So where are the other _phantoms_ anyway?” she asked, raising her eyebrows as she turned around to face the drummer again.

Alex’s chin dropped, as he stared at the girl in disbelief. “You- you can’t see them?”

“What? They’re _here_?” 

“Now that’s just plain homophobic,” Luke complained, crossing his arms over his chest where he sat in front of his guitar, protecting it in case Carrie would go near it again.

“Really, Luke? _I’m_ the gay one,” Alex sighed, getting to his feet to follow the girl around.

“Still,” Luke muttered in response, Reggie huffing in agreement.

“How come I can only see you?” Carrie asked after a moment’s silence, a confused look gracing her face as she stopped in her tracks and met his gaze.

“You’re asking _me_?!” Alex was stressed out. In fact, he was getting more stressed out by the second, and the fact that this was only happening to him and not the others was not helpful.

“Alright, alright. Can we get out of here at least? I feel… _haunted_ ,” Carrie complained, shivering as she looked around the room trying to figure out where the other two boys were.

“Nice one,” Reggie laughed, earning a leering gaze from Luke.

“Right… I guess,” Alex managed, his confusion increased by the fact that Carrie seemed to want to _hang out_. 

“Don’t forget practice, 7 pm sharp!” Luke called after him, as the two blondes made their exit. 

“So, what’s your name, ghost boy?” Carrie asked, a mocking grin on her lips as she started walking down the street side by side with the taller blonde.

“Um, it’s Alex.”

“Cool, I’m Carrie,” she smiled, and to his surprise, it was a genuine smile. One he hadn’t seen before, but nevertheless, one he quite immediately found that he liked.

“I know.” 

“As you should,” she grinned, doing a little hair flip that made it impossible not to smile. Maybe there was a silver lining to all these confusing and constant changes after all. 


	3. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look at that, I wrote a fluffy Willex chapter. I hope it lives up to your expectations. Please let me know what you think, and thank you for reading!

When Alex poofed into the garage for practice at 18.58, Julie was the one pacing the room. Alex, for once, was calm and happy, despite the many recent changes to his existence.

“Carrie can see you? And touch you?!” the girl inquired, crossing her arms over her chest as she walked over to the doorway to successfully interrogate the drummer.

“Yes,” the boy answered, slightly taken aback by her stressful demeanour.

“And what, you’re _friends_ with her now?”

“I don’t know… maybe?” he offered with an awkward smile glued to his lips.

“What did she say?” Julie demanded.

“What?”

“Did she say anything about me?”

“N-no, nothing special, wh- why?” he asked, collecting himself and narrowing his eyes at the singer.

“No reason,” Julie quickly retorted, turning away from him and walking over to the piano. “Let’s just get to practice, we have a lot to do.”

“I agree with Julie, we need to nail this so Ray can put us on Julie’s facetube,” Luke agreed seriously.

“Youtube, Luke,” Julie corrected, earning a chuckle from Reggie – who was undoubtedly drawing a mental image of a facetube.

Alex, on the other hand, was deep in thought as he walked across the room to take his place by the drum set. Julie was acting weird. She’d never gone into detail about her falling out with Carrie, but there was clearly more to it than they knew. Her reaction to this whole thing made him wonder if there was still hope for them. As far as he knew, they had been best friends once, and after hanging out with Carrie all afternoon he was convinced that she wasn’t half as bad as Julie and Flynn had made her out to be. Maybe that was why he could see her, maybe it was connected to his unfinished business in some way. Maybe he was supposed to help them make up.

“Alex?” Luke coughed.

“What?”

“You’re supposed to… you know, play the drums.” 

“Right.”

\--- 

After about an hour of practicing a knock on the garage door caused an abrupt stop in the music, and Willie entered the studio, skateboard in hand and a sleepy grin on his lips as we waved at the blonde behind the drums.

“Hey Willie,” smiled Reggie, while Luke offered a wave and Alex got up from his spot behind the drums.

“Oh, hey Willie,” Julie smiled, in the general direction of the entrance, still not entirely used to having a ghost around that she couldn't see.

“Hi,” Alex smiled, hesitating whether or not to hug the boy as he had made his way up to him, but quite immediately found himself dragged into a tight embrace – relief washing over him as Willie was safely in his arms.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your practice,” Willie mumbled, as he pulled away from the drummer.

“Don’t worry about it, we were done anyway,” Reggie reassured, making Alex feel immensely thankful for his friend. He hadn’t seen Willie in over a week, and his anxiety worsened each day he didn’t hear from him. Given that Caleb still owned Willie’s soul, his friends couldn’t exactly reassure him or tell him he had nothing to worry about.

“Yeah… I’m- I’m happy you’re here,” Alex smiled, looking down at his shoes before turning around to face the band. “I’ll see you guys later,” he said with a small wave before taking Willie’s hand and poofing out of the garage.

“That’s it!” sighed Luke dramatically after the pair had disappeared. “We’ve officially lost him now. If not to Carrie, then to Willie. Next thing we know he’ll leave us for Dirty Candy.”

“Honestly that doesn’t seem too far-fetched,” Reggie chirped in with an amused grin as he put his bass down.

“If he joins Dirty Candy, I don’t care how dead he is, I _will_ kill him again,” muttered Julie, her tone not nearly as amused as the boys’. 

Moments later, Alex and Willie appeared on the beach, hand in hand, just in time to sit down and watch the sunset together.

“So, how have you been? Is Caleb… are you safe?”

“Don’t worry about me, _hotdog_ , I’m good. He’s just still keeping a closer watch than usual, but he’ll back off eventually,” the skateboarder grinned, squeezing Alex’s hand reassuringly. “How are you?”

“I’m… a little stressed to be honest,” the blonde laughed, dragging his free hand through his hair. “Turns out Julie’s nemesis Carrie can see me, and touch me, and… I have no idea why.”

“Carrie, huh? Should I be jealous?” Willie grinned, bumping his shoulder to Alex’s, causing the taller boy to blush furiously. Logically, ghosts shouldn’t be able to blush, and honestly it was one of the benefits of being dead that he had _hoped_ for, yet here he was… blushing.

“What? No- I’m… very gay,” he coughed, turning his gaze away from the other boy.

“Good to know,” Willie mumbled softly, a soft smile gracing his lips as his gaze turned to their intertwined fingers.

“What about you?” Alex asked nervously, biting down on his bottom lip, refusing to meet those warm, brown eyes.

“For you? Very much,” Willie laughed fondly, causing the blonde to finally turn his gaze from his shoes to the boy beside him.

“Did you really just say you’re gay for me?”

“Yup.”

“You’re such a dork,” Alex laughed, softly pushing his shoulder into Willie’s, slightly disrupting his balance.

“You love it,” Willie grinned in response, softly rubbing his thumb over the back of Alex’s hand. 

“I do,” Alex mumbled in response, adopting a more serious tone as he could no longer stop himself from bringing his free hand up to push a strand of dark hair behind Willie’s ear, eventually placing his hand behind the other boy’s neck and pulling him in for a soft kiss. 

As anxiety-inducing as it should’ve been, kissing his crush for the first time, and in all honesty kissing _anyone_ for the first time in 25 years, Alex found himself blissfully happy. Not _calm_ , per se, given his rushing heartbeat and fluttery stomach, but at ease – peaceful. All this time being dead, twenty-five years crying in a dark room, months of anxiety and immediate danger, now here he was, finally learning the meaning of _peace_. It was a word he’d repeatedly heard in discussions about death and religion long before death became something way too tangible for him. He had also spent years being told that _sinners_ wouldn’t find it, peace that was, and consequently worried and worried about what would happen when he did die. Needless to say, Alex had never expected _this_ to be it. That the one thing that was supposed to keep him from finding peace, was what finally provided him with it.

It was a strange thing, finally grasping – fully understanding, that his existence wasn’t a sin. That his sexuality, _in no way_ , was going to keep him from happiness and peace. That it was, in fact, the other way around. Overwhelmed and teary eyed, the blonde smiled into the kiss, a relieved sigh leaving his lips.

“Are you okay?” Willie asked, after breaking the kiss, foreheads still connected in a resting position.

“Better than okay,” Alex smiled in response. _Better than he had ever been_.


	4. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so hard to write because it felt like such an important scene to me. I really hope you like it. Also, what do you think think went down between Carrie and Julie? Let me know what you thought, and thanks for reading!

Carrie was… surprising. She was the friend Alex had never known he needed. It was like there was something about her, something he couldn’t get from Luke or Reggie – not even Julie. 

Naturally, Alex being Alex, he spent a lot of time pondering, trying to pinpoint what it was. He figured maybe it was the dancing, and despite the love and passion they shared for it, he knew it went deeper than that. Then he thought that perhaps he had just needed a friend who he could talk to about boys, but that theory came crashing down as well, as Carrie was a great listener but rarely actually spoke that much about boys herself. 

She had crashed into his life without warning and had quickly become one of his best friends. Their relationship reminded him of a very crucial part of his life, when he still had one; having a little sister. Now, he couldn’t very well go around telling the girl he’d known for just about two weeks that she was like a sister to him – but nevertheless, that was what it felt like.

Alex found himself spending most of his time in the beachside mansion, practicing with Carrie in her dance studio, helping her out with choreography, talking about Willie. Carrie gave him makeovers (almost too often if you asked Alex), he showed her his favorite music from the 90’s, she introduced him to Lady Gaga and Beyoncé - it was just easy, easy in a way that took his mind off things and helped with his anxiety. When it was just the two of them, Carrie was bright, positive - _brutally honest_ , yes, but a complete ray of sun.

“Hey, Alex?” she asked carefully, where she sat on the floor painting her nails, Alex on the sofa behind her, carefully braiding her hair, completely entranced by ‘Love, Simon’ that was running on the flat screen in front of them.

“Mhm?” the boy mumbled absentmindedly; eyes still glued to the TV.

“Did you ever have a crush… on one of your friends?”

“Um, yeah, I used to have a huge crush on Luke back in the 90s,” he grinned, running his hands through her hair to undo the braid and start over again.

He had expected a laugh, a teasing comment, or at least a ‘really’ – but there was nothing. Carrie was uncharacteristically silent for several minutes, before flopping her head around to look him in the eyes. The expression on her face was new to him, he couldn’t quite decide if she looked confused, anxious or just curious.

“Did you ever… tell him?” the girl asked, biting down on her bottom lip.

“Yeah, I… Well, no, not _exactly_. He kind of told me, now that I think of it.”

“ _English_ , please,” Carrie rolled her eyes and got up to take the seat next to her friend on the sofa. Before long she had rested her head on his shoulder, waiting _not so_ patiently for the rest of the story.

“ _Fine_ , you get the story, but you owe me! Where do I start? Right… We started the band back in ’92, and I think… I think I had a thing for him from the start to be honest, then I told the guys I was gay in ’94. I didn’t have much choice at that point because my parents had found out and wanted nothing to do with me. Anyhow, that’s depressing, the point is that Luke apparently liked me too and he was the one who told me because honestly I would’ve never had the courage for that and-“

“Wait, _what?_ ” Carrie interrupted, shooting her head up from his shoulder and looking at him with wide eyes. “Luke liked you back?!”

“What, is that so hard to believe?” Alex gasped, his grin not matching the offended tone of his voice.

“Yeah, I mean, no… I didn’t know Luke liked guys.”

“Carrie, honey. He is literally dating Reggie,” Alex laughed, patting the girl on the head condescendingly.

“He’s _what?!_ ” 

“ _ANYWAY_ ,” Alex continued, “Luke told me first, which gave me the courage to tell him. We dated for a while, but it didn’t work out and now we’re back to being friends.” 

“Can we get back to the ‘Luke is dating Reggie’ thing?” Carrie basically screamed at him; brown eyes big as her entire face screamed shock.

“Carrie, is there… is there anything you want to tell me?” Alex asked, his tone more serious now, as he looked at her with a curious eye. “About Luke?”

“I just thought-“ she began, raising her eyebrows, making a bit of a grimace before looking around the room. “I kinda thought, you know- Luke and _Julie_ -“ she managed, a suggestive look on her face.

“Oh, yeah, they _ooze_ chemistry – according to Reggie, but that’s… they’re just friends.”

“ _Just_ friends?” Carrie asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, like I said,“ Alex began, but stopped talking as he slowly started putting the pieces together in his head upon seeing her reaction. “Oh my god, this isn’t about Luke, is it?”

“What? No, it’s not… I’m- just curious,” she tried, turning her gaze away from the boy, who had already caught on too well to fall for that poor excuse of a prevarication.

“ _You like Julie_ ,” Alex concluded, his wide green eyes glued to the girl next to him. Honestly, he should’ve known sooner. It all made sense now, their fight, Julie’s weird reaction to him being friends with Carrie, all Carrie's neatly concealed questions about him coming out. 

“I-“ Carrie began, as though she had planned on defending herself but realised too soon that there was, indeed, no point in doing so. Besides, unlike everyone else, Alex saw right through her lies, and she was painfully aware of that.

“So, does she know?” he asked, bringing his arm around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her.

“No,” Carrie moped, pouting her lips as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

“Do you want her to know?”

“Alex! She hates me, I can’t… I can’t ever _tell_ her.”

“Oh, come on. She doesn’t hate you, Carrie. I don’t think she’s even _capable_ of hate.” Sure, Julie had a temper. She was tough, incomprehensibly strong and independent, but she was inherently kind. And while she might be holding on to a grudge for some reason, Alex was sure it wasn’t _hate_ he had seen in her eyes when she asked about Carrie. “You never told me what happened.”

“It doesn’t matter, I messed up. I got scared she was going to find out that I-“ Carrie sighed deeply, shaking her head. “Anyway, then I started going out with Nick, so people wouldn’t get suspicious, it was so stupid, but Julie always sort of had a crush on him. She might’ve forgiven me for being an ass, but not for Nick. And then her mom died and I… I just couldn’t. Rose was always really good to me, when she died it really hurt me too. But I couldn’t show Julie that, because that would be selfish. She didn’t need any more drama in her life. She didn’t need _me_. She had Flynn, and her family. I would’ve just made things worse. So I stayed away. And then she had _one more_ thing not to forgive me for.”

“You know, if you never asked her forgiveness, you never really gave her the chance,” Alex said after a moments silence, causing the girl to sit up straight again, a serious look in her eyes as she looked at him.

“Do you really think she would forgive me?”

“I don’t know, Carrie. But you’ll never know if you never try.”

“If that was meant to be a Coldplay quote, I hope you know you failed,” Carrie chuckled, playfully slapping him over the arm before settling back down against his shoulder. “I really made you miss half the movie, didn’t I?”

“I have no idea what you just said, but don’t worry about the movie, we’ll just rewind it.”

“God, you’re old.”


	5. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is longer and sadder than usual. Sorry about that, hope you like it. As always, thank you for reading, and please let me know what you think!

Secrets were overestimated. Having valuable knowledge absolutely sucked when you couldn’t share said piece of information with anyone. Nevertheless, Alex kept Carrie’s secret like his life depended on it. Well, if he still had a life that was. It was especially annoying because the more the thought about it, the more he thought that Julie was _definitely_ acting weird since he started spending time with Carrie.

When Julie finally confided in him about her crush on Carrie, it didn’t make things any easier. It was just one more secret that he couldn’t share with anyone, and a particularly annoying one seeing as him telling could actually improve the current situation considerably. Come to think about it, it was a lot like the mutual pining that had been going on between Luke and Reggie since the goddamn nineties, before the two oblivious idiots put two and two together and figured it out (no thanks to Alex and his worthless knowledge).

“I really think you should talk to her, Julie,” Alex muttered, as he paced the floors of the garage, as he seemed to do much too often nowadays. Reggie and Luke had left together after band practice to have some alone time, but if Alex knew them right, they were probably out pranking (read: haunting) people on the boulevard. Julie had finally taken the opportunity to tell him what he had already suspected for a while.

“I can’t talk to her, it’s Carrie. Besides, she’d probably just tell people and make fun of me.”

“Julie, could you… just give her the benefit of the doubt? She’s actually… really nice when you get to know her-“

“I know, Alex, we used to be friends, remember?”

“Sorry, Jules, it’s just… I don’t like being caught up in the middle of this feud. Carrie is my friend too, and it’s hard to hear you talk about her like that,” he admitted, finally settling down on the sofa next to his friend.

“Well, it’s not like it’s uncalled for. She’s made fun of me in front of the whole class before, more than once.”

“Well, she’s changed. She’s not _evil_ , you know,” he offered, with a soft smile.

“Obviously, I wouldn’t have this _stupid_ crush if I thought she was evil. I’m just… scared.”

“Oh, come here you,” the ghost said sympathetically as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. “I get it, Jules.”

\---

“You’re late…” Carrie muttered as Alex poofed into her dance studio some twenty minutes later.

“I do have other friends, too, you know,” he grinned, pulling the reluctant girl in for a hug.

“Rude,” she muttered into his shoulder, and he could practically hear her rolling her eyes at him.

“Okay, are we doing this or what?” Alex asked as he let go of his friend and gave a pointed look to her phone.

“What do you think I’ve been waiting around for?” Carrie grinned, handing the phone over to the boy, who had started getting more comfortable with the technology by now. After pressing a few buttons, music started pumping out of the speakers in the studio, reminding Alex of too many nights of playing a record that belonged to his little sister, in his room when his parents were out. The familiar baseline and drums filled the studio, and when Alex closed his eyes, it was almost like he was back in his childhood bedroom, blasting that very song and dancing on his bed as if he didn’t have a care in the world. There were very few moments like that, if he looked back on his life. Most of the time he cared way too much, worried way too much, about anything and everything. But those days, music filling his room and his soul, those days had been free of worry. Those days had been _free_. Before long, Madonna’s voice rang through the room and a nostalgic smile lit up the ghost’s face.

_”Look around, everywhere you turn is heartache  
It's everywhere that you go  
You try everything you can to escape  
The pain of life that you know  
When all else fails and you long to be  
Something better than you are today.”_  


Instinctively, he started dancing around the room, singing along with the strikingly personal lyrics, and showing Carrie the vogueing moves she had been asking about since he first rehearsed with her.

_”I know a place where you can get away  
It's called a dance floor, and here's what it's for, so-  
Come on, vogue  
Let your body move to the music  
Hey, hey, hey  
Come on, vogue  
Let your body go with the flow  
You know you can do it”_  


The girl caught on impressively fast, and they danced like it was something they had been doing together their whole lives, when that was probably the farthest from the truth you could come - seeing that they hadn’t ever been alive at the same time. The dance practically turned into a battle right away, the two friends challenging each other with one impressive pose after the other, and Alex felt free in a way he wasn’t sure he ever had before. Despite the sentiment, discovering himself and his love for dance in his early teens had been something he had to keep to himself, a shameful secret. And now, over two decades later, despite the practicality of being dead, he didn’t have to hide anymore. He could put on a show, in front of his friends, in front of anyone who could see him really, without being judged. Without feeling like he had to hide.

As the song came to an end, the two friends collapsed on the floor, laughing and panting, as Spotify kept shuffling Madonna songs and settled on ‘Like a Virgin’.

“Okay, _that_ – was incredible!” Carrie exclaimed, grabbing onto his shoulders and shaking him slightly. “I’m not saying I _agree_ with your taste in music, but damn you’ve got some moves!”

“ _Me?_ Did you see yourself? I did _not_ think you would catch on that fast, but I clearly underestimated you!” 

”You always do,” she grinned, letting go of his shoulders and getting to her feet to go pick her phone back up. “Alright, let me show you what _you_ missed,” she grinned, pressing play on ‘Problem’ by Ariana Grande, pulling her friend back to his feet to show him the moves of her tweens.

\---

The pair had barely gotten to the first chorus when the studio door flung open and a sharp voice cut through the music. “Carrie, honey, did you-“ 

Alex stared at the woman in the doorway, blonde hair pulled up in a proper ponytail, green eyes hidden away behind rectangular glasses. The woman stopped dead in her tracks upon entering the studio, Carrie instinctively moving to pause the music.

“Mom?!” Carrie and Alex exclaimed simultaneously, and the woman’s eyes widened as she hesitatingly asked “Alex?”

“Mom?!” the teenagers questioned again, this time at each other, both faces scrunched up in confusion. 

“Mom?” the older woman questioned, eyebrows raised in confusion, her gaze glued at the ghost.

“You can see him?” Carrie chirped in, brown eyes hastily moving between her mother and her newfound ghost friend.

Alex stood frozen, too, meeting green eyes far too similar to his own, and soft features that on second thought reminded him more of his sister than his mother. It struck him then, that the year was 2020, and his mother wouldn’t be anywhere _near_ as young as this woman anymore. And his sister wouldn’t be anywhere near fourteen anymore.

“Lizzie?” he swallowed shakily.

“Oh my god, I need to-“ Elizabeth Wilson stumbled backwards in her heels, losing her balance and falling towards the ground, but the ghost in the room instinctively poofed in behind her, not actually expecting to be able to catch her the way he did. Yet there he was, catching her by the arms, helping her regain her balance.

The moment their skin connected; Alex _knew_. He had guessed before, it had been a long shot, a slight resemblance. But as he caught her mid-air, a wave of emotions and memories washed over him all at once, and he _knew_ that he was holding his little sister again. His baby sister, who was all grown up, who wore high heels and who had a teenage daughter. _Carrie_. Carrie was her daughter. A harsh realisation hit him like a punch to the gut, and the minute the woman had regained her balance he threw his arms up in the air.

“You _slept_ with BOBBY? I’m going to _kill_ him, so help me-“ 

“Oh my god, Alex, it’s really you,” Elizabeth sobbed, tears already flooding down her cheeks, as she ignored his tantrum and threw her arms around him without a moment of hesitation, holding onto him for dear life as her tears stained his pink hoodie.

“You know my _dad_ , too?” Carrie managed, back in the studio, looking at the pair in confusion as she tried to connect the dots in silence.

“How… how is this _possible?_ ” Liz cried, taking a small step back without letting go of him to once again look her brother in the eye with pure disbelief. “You know what? I don’t care, I’m just… glad you’re here,” she barely managed, voice cracking at the end of the sentence. “Please don’t leave me again.”

Alex, the ghost who had cried for twenty-five years, clearly wasn’t immune to crying. And while he had cried in a dark room for twenty-five years, he hadn’t quite cried like _this_ in a long time. Tears welled out of his eyes as her words struck him, and images of the past flashed through his mind. 

_The thirteen-year-old girl stood on the porch, barefoot in her pyjamas, face damp and green eyes swollen as she screamed after the boy reluctantly making his way down the driveway. “Alex! You can’t just leave me here!”_

_“Go back inside, Lizzie,” her brother replied, voice shaking as the grey skies rumbled above their heads._

_“Please don’t leave me!”_

_The boy faltered, turning around to face the girl who had ran down the stairs just in time to throw her arms around his middle as he turned around, her anger quickly turning into misery._

_“I’m not leaving you, Lizzie. I’ll never leave you, okay?” he hushed, as he wrapped the girl in his arms and rhythmically stroke her hair. “But you heard them, I’m not welcome here anymore. So, I have to go figure something out. But when I have my own place, you can come live with me, okay? I promise. Sound good?”_

_“Pinky promise?” the younger asked, biting down hard on her bottom lip to prevent herself from breaking into tears again._

_“Pinky promise,” he nodded, entwining their pinkies and shaking on it._

In a private dance studio, some twenty-six years later, the boy found himself in the same position, slowly stroking his sister’s thin blonde hair, his hoodie and face wet with tears and his heart utterly broken. “I won’t,” he promised, yet another time, knowing it was a promise he might not be able to keep. “I’ll never leave you.”


	6. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took so long, I've been really low on motivation lately, and this was a very hard chapter for me to write. It's also mainly dialogue, but I felt like it was necessary. I hope you like it, and as usual, please let me know what you think.

“ _Someone_ needs to tell me what the hell is going on here!” Carrie finally exclaimed, doubtlessly far too loud for the previously silent room, interrupting the sobs coming from her mother and new ghost friend who were holding each other in the doorway.

“Carrie honey,” Liz sighed, reluctantly letting go of her brother to take a few slow steps towards her teenage daughter. “You remember I told you about your uncle Alex,” she began, the teenage girl shaking her head in disbelief and backing away from her approaching mother.

“Well, I’m not sure how-“ the older woman began, her daughter cutting her off quite immediately to answer her question.

“He’s a ghost-“

“But this is your uncle, Carrie.”

Alex, still standing in the entrance to the dance studio gave his friend, or well, niece (oh wow that was _weird),_ an awkward wave.

“What? No- No, mom, this is my b- my _friend_ Alex,” Carrie ensured, still shaking her head in disbelief.

“He’s also my big brother, honey.”

“ _Your_ brother? Really, mom?” the girl shook her head, face scrunched up and eyes tearing up. “And you?” she continued, firm steps leading her away from her mother and towards the ghost in the doorway. “You knew all along?”

“No, Carrie, I swear I had no idea,” Alex promised, reaching for his friend – who slapped his hand away.

“But you knew who my dad was, didn’t you? And you didn’t tell me?”

“I- Well, yes, but-“

Carrie had already pushed past him and was making her way through the house, and as Alex called out for her and made to follow, a soft hand landed on his shoulder - holding him back.

“Give her some space, she’ll be back,” Liz said, all too calmy, and Alex realized she must’ve had experienced this a million times before. And while he was all torn up, stressed out that Carrie would never forgive him – his sister’s calm was infectious. It was… _motherly._ It made the stress melt off him and put a smile on his lips. Lizzie, his baby sister, was a _mom,_ and from the sound of it – a good one. Probably the best one he had ever come across. Not that he had met a lot of good moms.

“I never thought I’d say this, but you’re a good mom, Lizzie,” Alex smiled, turning around to see his sister tearing up again, looking at him in disbelief.

“I never thought I’d hear you say that, either,” she managed, gripping onto his hand, clearly with no intention of letting go of him anytime soon. “You have no idea… seeing you with her,” she sobbed, losing her voice for a moment, then taking a deep breath and pulling herself back together. “It’s been the greatest sorrow of my life, thinking that you would never know each other. And here you are-“

She broke down again at that, and Alex couldn’t keep himself from wrapping her in his arms and breaking down with her. Because he understood, he understood fully. Because here he was, having a relationship with Carrie that could only be described as _family,_ without any involvement, any introduction. Twenty-five years after dying he had just _happened_ upon his goddamn _niece_ and things had just clicked. For all he had known, she was his friend’s ex best friend and school mean girl, and still, in a matter of weeks she had become like a sister to him. And now, now it all made sense. Because he was supposed to have known her throughout her entire life. He was supposed to have taught her how to dance over ten years ago, and she was supposed to have done makeovers on him before she was even old enough to use makeup.

“Sorry,” Lizzie managed, pulling away from him and wiping the tears off her face. “Come, sit,” she said with a small smile, pulling him over to the couch and sitting down next to the brother she had never thought she’d see again. It was a bizarre situation to say the least, but one she had dreamed of for decades.

“Why didn’t you… come find me sooner?” she asked, quietly, after a long moment’s silence.

“Oh, Lizzie. I didn’t- I only became a ghost a few months ago, before that I was… in a dark room _, itdoesntreallymatter_ , but there’s been so much happening these past months and we thought we’d disappear, but now we’re safe, I think-“

“We? Do you mean- are Luke and Reggie with you?”

“Yeah, we died and came to the dark room, where I cried for _twenty-five years,_ but it just felt like a few hours. Then Julie played our CD and we fell into the garage like we’d never left-“

“Julie? Julie _Molina_?”

“Yes! I totally forgot you would know her, she’s helped us so much and _oh we have a band with her!_ ”

Liz was smiling now, shaking her head again in complete disbelief, before leaning it on his shoulder. “You know, this makes no sense what so ever, and all the sense in the world at the same time.”

“Weirdly, I think I do know,” he replied, leaning his head on hers with a content sigh.

“I’m so glad the boys were with you, especially Luke, I was… I’ve been so scared you would be alone, where ever you were, and-“

“Oh, they weren’t much help, I didn’t get a single hug and I cried for twenty-five years- wait, what do you mean especially- you _know?! Did Bobby tell you? I’m going to haunt him til-“_

“Oh, come on, I knew _long_ before I met him, I saw you kissing the kid next door in fifth grade. And I saw _Luke_ climbing the tree to your window several times.”

“You- you knew?” Alex stuttered, tears stubbornly watering his eyes up, as he tried to hold himself together. “And you didn’t tell them?”

“Of _course_ , I wouldn’t… Alex, I would never tell them. I knew they were… I never forgave them for what they did to you.”

“You’re… okay with it?”

“Oh Alex, I’m more than okay with it. I love you so much, _no matter what,_ and I’m really happy for you and Luke-“

“Luke and I broke up back in ’94, we’re just friends. Actually, he’s dating Reggie now,” Alex managed stiffly, and he could practically hear Willie in the back of his mind, calling him ‘cringey’.

“Oh, I- I’m sorry, Alex.”

“It’s okay, we weren’t… it was for the best. And I have a boyfriend now- Willie. He’s a skater but like, a ghost skater, and he’s so cute – but this bad ghost kind of owns his soul so it’s really complicated.”

“That’s… um, a lot. I’m sorry, if there’s anything I can do-“

“I know, Lizzie. I don’t think there is though, just… tell me about you. Like how the hell you ended up with _Bobby.”_

“I didn’t _end up_ with him, thank you very much. We’re divorced. I met him at the Orpheum when I was 19, he was… playing, and I guess I just felt connected to him – he was your friend, after all. We got married and had Carrie but our marriage was a disaster. He did put me through school though, and gave me Carrie.”

“I’m glad all that money came to _some_ good,” Alex muttered bitterly.

“What?”

“Nevermind, how’s… how’s mom and dad?” he mumbled, swallowing down on a thick lump in his throat. The thought had struck him countless times. Sure, he had mainly worried about Lizzie and where she had ended up, but he did wonder about his parents, too. If they had mourned for him, if they had _changed,_ if they were even still alive.

“I don’t… I don’t know, Alex. I took off when I was seventeen and I haven’t seen them since.”

“You _what?!_ They kicked you out _too?_ ”

“No, I ran away. I left _them._ ”

“Why… why would you do that? Where did you go?!”

“They were terrible parents, Alex! They kicked you out, pretended like you’d never existed, and then you _died._ I resented them for doing that to you, their one job was to love and care for you, and they couldn’t even do that. I couldn’t live with the people who made my brother’s short life so miserable. I _had_ to get out.”

“You… you didn’t have to do that for me,” Alex cried, realizing just how much he had underestimated his sister and her ability to just _understand_ him better than anyone.

“Yes, I did. And I would do it again. I don’t want them in my life, I don’t need _that_ in my life _._ And I definitely don’t need it in my _daughter’s_ life.”

Alex threw her arms around her at that, unable to stop those stubborn tears that should’ve ran out a long time ago. His little sister was all grown up, and she had grown up to be the polar opposite of the mother who had raised them. She had grown up to be _just_ the mom Carrie needed, and _deserved._ It overwhelmed him with pride and heartbreak all at once. Because Lizzie had overcome her past, broken free from it, and done everything in her power to do what’s best for Carrie. _If only their mother had been half the mom Lizzie was. She deserved that, too. They both had._


End file.
